Francine and Roger compete when the opportunity arises to act as a real estate agent on one of TV's hottest reality shows, "Langley Dollar Listings."
Worried that he's not smart enough for Hayley, Jeff undergoes an experimental intelligence enhancement procedure at the CIA.
Stan becomes infatuated with a doll that the CIA wants to use to spy on the Russians.
Stan moves to Chicago to become a comic while Steve and Hayley host Roger for a nice night in.
When the family goes to a dude ranch, Klaus and Rogu have to work together to survive in the wilderness.
Steve spins out about his future, but a radio show about new age mysticism gives him a hopeful new understanding of life; Roger struggles to get into the adult film industry.
After a series of boring personas, Roger goes to great lengths to prove to Francine he still has his edge.
Stan tries a new, cutting-edge parenting approach -- DNA splicing.
Roger reveals a secret passion to Klaus; Stan and Francine seek revenge on Bazooka Sharks management.
Stan's childhood imaginary friend returns to collect a debt; Klaus has a big date and needs a fishbowl upgrade.
Hayley searches for guidance and instead finds a community of "cool butts."
Stan is being forced to partner with Jeff in a lumberjack competition; Steve, Francine and Snot are entering a contest to win a vintage pickup truck.
Stan and Francine go back in time to settle an argument.
Francine and Roger get lost in a good book -- or five -- after Francine escapes an embarrassing situation; Stan reluctantly hangs out at the library.
Stan finally decides to do something about his secret baldness and enlists the help of Josay Bosay, Roger's famed hair-stylist-to-the-stars persona.
After Stan sells off the coveted family plot, the family opens their own cemetery in the backyard with the help of basketball Hall-of-Famer Scottie Pippen.
A new friendship causes Hayley to start worrying she might be slowly turning into Francine; Steve and his friends try out for Roger's improv troupe.
Hayley and Jeff help one of Roger's personas run a solar company.
Stan and the family go out to dinner at a buffet restaurant; Roger becomes a flower.
When Stan realizes he can't cry, he asks Steve to teach him empathy.
Stan gets in over his head trying to impress Toshi's dad; Klaus and Jeff head to the country for a weekend getaway.
When Principal Lewis threatens to cancel science club, Steve takes matters into his own hands in a monstrous way.
Stan and Hayley compete in collecting data for the US Census; Klaus has Steve and his friends model for his new camera.
Steve tries to stop Roger after he joins a mysterious order of birds' egg thieves; Francine buys a new Italian sauce for the family.
Stan discovers that the Langley Falls historical mural has been ruined by graffiti and neglect and convinces the town to allow him to restore the mural himself; Roger becomes Steve's instructor at a prestigious clowning university.
Hayley gets a job as a delivery driver and begins delivering lunch to Stan's office; when she sees the terrible work conditions, she organizes a strike; the family watches "Breaking Bad" in reverse and discovers the show conceals a scavenger hunt.
Stan deals with childhood issues of abandonment, which affects his performance at work; Klaus builds a website based on Smith family fails.
Francine hosts a dinner party despite a serial killer on the loose who attacks dinner parties and terrorizes the town; when the lights go out and guests start to disappear, Roger takes charge of solving the mystery of who could be stalking the party.
Bullock asks Stan to fill in for him at his class at the CIA Academy and Stan finds the cadets to be the perfect captive audience for his boring stories; Klaus becomes the hype man for a famous rapper.
Frustrated with traffic, Stan goes to the mayor and proposes that the town build a bullet train, but the mayor laughs off the idea; Roger pushes Stan into running for mayor; Stan wins the election but finds himself overwhelmed.
When Steve acts out his sexual energy, Francine asks Stan to give Steve "the talk," but Stan's fear that he won't do it right terrifies him; the family builds a giant water slide in the backyard.
Snot teaches Roger about Hanukkah, prompting Roger to convert to Judaism and to try to make Hanukkah more popular than Christmas by stealing Santa Claus' power.
When Francine discovers that her memories of family vacations have been artificially created by the CIA, she demands a real vacation.
In order to be taken more seriously, Stan becomes a parking attendant; Haley poses nude for a college art class.
Stan demands a grander Christmas and sets out to find a bigger tree in the forest, where he meets an untimely end; while in limbo, Stan fights the forces of good and evil.
Roger and Steve set their sights on New York City, where Roger loses everything on Wall Street trying to get fame and fortune.
Stan wins an essay-writing contest, leading his personal hero, President Bush, to come over for dinner.
When Stan starts making festive teddy bears, he resorts to using illegal aliens as cheap labor to fill orders.
Roger heads out in search of a new human companion after Steve rejects him; Stan tours the Mr. Pibb factory and meets the man himself (Peter Graves).
While researching George Washington Carver, Steve uncovers a conspiracy that has been ongoing since the Civil War.
When Stan thinks a CIA nuclear drill is real, he moves the family to the mountains to survive the perceived apocalypse.
Stan's attempt to play Cupid for Bullock goes awry when Bullock accidentally kills his date, who happens to be one of Francine's friends.
Hoping to rekindle their romance, Francine insists on a divorce so Stan can live like a bachelor again; Steve becomes addicted to an energy drink.
Stan discovers how his neighbors feel about him when he brings eavesdropping equipment home from the CIA.
Stan is prosecuted for sending contaminated cattle to a slaughterhouse; Roger unintentionally starts a fight between Francine and Haley.
Roger and Stan race cross-country to turn in Jeff, who is wanted for smuggling marijuana into Florida.