My Wife and Kids

Michael Kyle quests for a traditional family.
Fantasy Camp
S5 E2

At fantasy basketball camp, scheduling mix-ups force Michael to be inventive in order to get a chance to play with his idol, Michael Jordan.

Childcare Class
S5 E3

After Michael fails a child-care course for grandparents, Vanessa and Jr. refuse to let him baby-sit his grandchild.

Class Reunion
S5 E4

Michael is reluctant to attend his high-school reunion until a former rival challenges him to a dance-off.

The Fellowship of the Baby
S5 E5

Michael tells Jr. that "Jr., Jr." is a magic baby that will increase his intelligence every time he holds him.

Poker Face
S5 E6

Michael tells Jr. to spend some time away from Vanessa and the baby, but his advice backfires when Jr. invites Jay to the all-male poker game.

The Proposal
S5 E7

A karaoke competition between Michael and Jay and numerous other interruptions prevent Jr. from finally proposing to Vanessa.

Restaurant Wars
S5 E8

Michael gets involved in Jay's soul-food restaurant when the Hoos, owners of the Chinese restaurant across the street, try to put her out of business.

The Return of Bobby Shaw
S5 E9

Jr. enrolls in the Rapacademy and signs a shady contract with Michael's archenemy, Bobby Shaw, and he must get out of it.

The Wedding
S5 E10

Jr. and Vanessa plan their wedding, but they quickly realize that a compromise must be made in order to bring their two families together.

Careful What You Wish For
S5 E11

Jay is envious of the attention that she sees newlywed Vanessa getting from Jr., and she wishes that Michael would act the same way toward her.

They Call Me El Foosay
S5 E12

Jr. becomes obnoxious about winning after Vanessa buys him a foosball game, prompting Michael to try to teach him a lesson about being a good winner.

Study Buddy
S5 E13

Michael feels neglected when Jay spends a lot of time studying, so he decides to tutor her, with less than stellar results.

Sweetheart's Day
S5 E14

Jay insists that Michael buy her a gift for Sweetheart's Day, so he decides to base the price of her gift on her attitude towards him.

Silence Is Golden
S5 E15

Michael reluctantly accompanies Jay on a meditation weekend, where he has trouble following the rule of silence.

Bahamas
S5 E16

Michael is hoping for some time for himself when they arrive at the resort, but his golf buddy (David Alan Grier) shows up and insists they spend time together, forcing Michael to go to great lengths to get away.

Bahamas
S5 E17

Michael and Jay find themselves stranded on an island as the tide rises, and the only person who can help them is Michael's annoying golf buddy (David Alan Grier).

The Remodel
S5 E18

When Michael decides that hiring contractors would be too expensive, he and Jr. attempt to remodel the garage but quickly get in over their heads.

Michael Joins a Gym
S5 E19

When Michael finds he cannot fit into an old pair of jeans, he asks an old friend to help him get back in shape.

Celibacy
S5 E20

Michael is reluctant to go along with Jay's plan to improve their love life, since it requires six months of abstinence.

Jr.'s Cartoon
S5 E21

Jr. wins a national competition for a cartoon based on his family, and it catches the attention of ABC executives.

Michael's Sandwich
S5 E22

Michael makes his signature sandwich to take on a plane, but when he arrives late at the airport, suspicious security guards search his masterpiece.

Graduation Day
S5 E23

Despite Michael's effort to make Jay's college graduation a memorable occasion, everything that could go wrong does.

Michael Sells the Business
S5 E24

Michael and Jay get a lucrative offer from a large company; Kady and Claire bicker over who gets to spend more time in the bathroom.

The `V' Story
S5 E26

Jay insists that Michael get a vasectomy so they can feel free to enjoy themselves, but Michael is reluctant to undergo the operation.

The Sweet Hairafter
S4 E2

Michael takes too many hair-growth pills and suffers unusual side effects.

Jr. Executive
S4 E3

As the boss' son, Jr. convinces other employees at Kyle Trucking to do his work for him; Claire arranges a secret date with a guy she met on the Internet.

Jay Goes to School
S4 E4

Seeking fulfillment, Jay goes back to college despite Michael's protests; Jr.'s buddies (Damon Wayans Jr., Michael Wayans) decide to turn his old baby crib into a hip new machine.

Meet the Parents
S4 E5

Vanessa's parents try to bully Michael and Jay into buying things that will benefit them, not the baby.

He's Having a Baby
S4 E6

Michael and Jay try to teach Jr. what it is like to be a father by giving him a water balloon to care for.

The Funeral
S4 E7

Michael's grief-stricken employee (Sean Whalen) asks Kady to kiss his dead grandmother goodbye at the funeral.

Ultrasound
S4 E8

Vanessa and Jr. prepare for their first ultrasound; the grandparents-to-be go to extremes to find out the sex of the baby; Franklin is worried that Kady will dump him for Willie K.

Marathon
S4 E9

Jay and Michael decide to compete in the New York City Marathon, but Michael does not see the need to adopt Jay's training regimen.

While Out
S4 E10

Claire throws a wild party in her parents' absence; a drunken Tony runs naked through the neighborhood.

Michael's Band
S4 E11

When Michael's former bandmate (Clarence Clemons) comes to town for a gig, Michael agrees to sit in as the band's piano player.

The Lady Is Not a Tramp
S4 E12

Michael fears the worst when he discovers condoms in Claire's backpack; Jr. accidentally gives Kady a dose of dog medicine.

Of Mice and Man
S4 E13

When Jay finds mouse droppings, she demands that Michael hire an exterminator, but Michael is determined to handle it himself; Claire accidentally runs over a squirrel while driving home.

Illegal Smile
S4 E18

Michael's unnatural-looking smile lands him in hot water with a traffic-court judge and later with his cellmate (Lou Ferrigno).

Outbreak Monkey
S4 E19

Flu germs jeopardize Michael's chance to see basketball star LeBron James shoot hoops at Madison Square Garden.

Empty Nest
S4 E20

Michael and Jay look back on the fun times they have had.

Empty Nest
S4 E21

Alone in the house, Michael and Jay reminisce about the fun times they have had with their children and friends.

Calvin Comes to Stay
S4 E22

When Vanessa's father, Calvin, is kicked out by his wife and comes to stay with the Kyles, Michael must devise a plan to make him return home.

Calvin Goes to Work
S4 E23

Michael reluctantly hires Vanessa's dad, Calvin, but his work ethic leaves Michael searching for a way to fire him; Claire gets Franklin to help her with a science paper.

Romantic Night
S4 E24

Michael's plan for a romantic evening with Jay goes awry when Junior accidentally cancels their hotel reservations.

The Maid
S4 E26

While Jay is away, Michael hires a maid (Betty White) whose painstaking attention to the family's every need leaves Jay feeling a little threatened.

Hand Model
S4 E27

Michael is recruited as a hand model during Claire's modeling audition; Franklin feels threatened by Kady's friendship with Rachel and decides to do something about it.

Fighting Kyles
S3 E8

Michael and Jay give their bickering kids a taste of their own medicine, making them scared they're on the brink of breaking up.

Sister Story
S3 E9

Michael's sister (Vivica A. Fox) visits and sparks a rivalry with Jay.

Jr.'s Dating Dilemma
S3 E10

Michael's advice about women backfires when Jr. ends up with two dates to a dance; Jay dreams Michael is having an affair with Janet Jackson.

Jay the Artist
S3 E11

When Michael inspires Jay's artistic side, she makes him pose for a nude painting that makes him the subject of everyone's jokes.

Chair Man of the Board
S3 E12

Michael is caught by surprise when his childhood friend, Tommy, shows up for a visit in a wheelchair.

Open Your Heart
S3 E13

Jay insists that Michael attend a couples seminar with her; Jr. and his friends try to make some extra money.

Michael's Tribe
S3 E14

Michael volunteers to be chief for Kady's Indian Princess sleepover and tries to keep Claire from sneaking out to a rave with her boyfriend.

Blackout
S3 E15

Michael finally gets the house to himself when a blackout occurs.

Mom's Away
S2 E1

Michael is left in charge of the house when Janet leaves to tend to her sick mother, and must contend with multiple problems.

Mom's Away
S2 E2

Michael contends with multiple problems, including a positive pregnancy test, a sad 6-year-old and Jr.'s basketball troubles.

No Rules
S2 E3

The household becomes unbearable when Michael decides to let the kids do as they please.

Perfect Dad
S2 E4

Fed up with Michael's parenting style, the children confront their father with a description of the ideal dad.

Thru Thick and Thin
S2 E5

When Janet returns, Michael remains silent about her obvious weight gain.

He Heard, She Heard
S2 E6

Michael looks to teach Claire a lesson after she sneaks out of the house and uses Kady as an accomplice.

Michael's Garden
S2 E7

Janet convinces Michael to have a procedure during a physical examination.

Let Them Eat Pie
S2 E8

The kids get more than they bargained for after Jr. dares Claire to eat Michael's slice of lemon meringue pie.

Jay Gets Fired
S2 E9

After a bad business decision costs Jay her job, she becomes a homemaker.

The Whole World Is Watching
S2 E10

Michael and Janet's romantic overtures are seen on the Internet after Jr. gets new computer equipment.

Letting Go
S2 E11

Kady treats the school hamster that Michael accidentally killed as though it is still alive; Michael catches Claire in a lie.

Learning to Earn It
S2 E12

Michael is thrilled when the children start their own businesses after squandering their allowances in one day.

Quality Time
S2 E13

Marriage counselors back Michael's belief that he's entitled to some time alone after spending time with Janet, much to her dismay.

Get Out
S2 E14

Michael tries to get his always-tardy family dressed and out the door to a wedding within just 15 minutes.

Road Trip
S2 E15

A family trip to Paul Revere's house tests everyone's nerves.

Pilot
S1 E1

Mike worries when Jay wants to put her college degree to good use and enter the workforce.

The Truth Hurts
S1 E2

Michael is convinced that junior has gotten a tattoo, but Junior won't admit it; Michael is concerned that none of his children are willing to own up to things they've done.

Grassy Knoll
S1 E3

Michael and Jay play mind games on Junior after they discover he has been smoking marijuana; Kady wants to spend more time with her big sister.

Of Breasts and Basketball
S1 E4

Michael has difficulty coping when Junior beats him at basketball; Claire buys a a padded bra to impress boys.

Making the Grade
S1 E5

Junior attempts to fool his parents into believing he got an A for his algebra assignment, but the scheme backfires when Janet and Michael treat him like a prodigy.

Working It
S1 E6

Michael hires an attractive tutor in hopes of invoking Junior's passion for math.

Snapping and Sniffing
S1 E7

Michael advises Jr. to fight his school bully with words instead of fists; Michael feels Jay is neglecting the family.

He Said, She Said
S1 E8

Michael and Jay get a lesson in listening when they try to remember what they asked each other to do.

Breaking Up and Breaking It
S1 E9

Claire is upset when Michael continues to pal around with her former boyfriend (Andrew McFarlane); Junior spends too much time in the bathroom.

A Little Romance
S1 E10

Just when Michael is feeling frustrated about his love life, his brother visits with his sexy new girlfriend.