Bug-infested sheets force Doug and Carrie to hire an exterminator (Chris Elliott); Spence and Danny wrestle over vacation plans.
Doug fakes being injured so that Carrie, who feels responsible, will continue to tend to his every need and allow him to miss a dreaded wedding.
When the Heffernans receive an oil painting of themselves as an anniversary gift from Deacon and Kelly, they dislike the picture so much that they decide to stage a robbery rather than hang the painting in their home.
Doug convinces Carrie to sell her hair so they can afford a cruise but finds he does not like her new, shorter style.
Doug lies to Carrie about being accepted into the IPS management program; Doug tries to conquer a roller coaster that scared him as a child.
Doug takes Carrie to a spa, hoping it will get her to let him take a trip to Vegas with the guys; Arthur teaches Spence his trick for beating the house in blackjack.
Jealous of Carrie's new job and her long hours, Doug asks his boss for a promotion and gets put in charge of safety.
Carrie makes Doug join a support group for overeaters, but he secretly joins an abusive relationship group where he blames his eating on her.
Doug sends a new driver on the wrong route, but the plan backfires when the man winds up in the hospital.
Doug digs a deeper hole for himself when he fakes a heart attack to avoid angering Carrie for not knowing her friend's name.
Doug goes looking for his father at a model train convention and notices his mother with very seductive Arthur Spooner.
Doug and Arthur investigate when Doug's wallet is stolen; they suspect Carrie's admirer is responsible for the theft.
Deacon and Kelly find new couple friends, forcing Doug and Carrie to turn to their old reliable couple friends, Neal and Marcy.
Doug wears a cologne Carrie dislikes to try to convince himself and the guys that she does not control him.
Carrie gets a raise and hires a Spanish-speaking housekeeper, but the language barrier frustrates Doug; he retaliates by hiring Veronica as his personal housekeeper.
Carrie is upset when Doug does not take an exam that could have led to a promotion, so he retaliates by becoming a bartender.
When Doug and Carrie start training with their neighbor (Lou Ferrigno) so Carrie can lose a few pounds, Doug works out a deal that allows him to laze around during exercise time.
When Carrie learns Doug stole the romantic line he used when they started dating, he struggles to come up with a new one for Valentine's Day to try to redeem himself.
When Doug makes a delivery to his former high school, the football coach treats him like a hero, so Doug begins stopping by more often.
As Carrie reluctantly approaches her 35th birthday, Doug bribes neighborhood construction workers to hoot and holler at her in order to make her feel younger.
Doug tries to find his roots when Deacon snubs him for a new Black friend; Carrie's manicurist refuses to see her.
Doug's elation at winning two tickets to the NCAA Final Four turns to guilt when Carrie prompts him to take Arthur instead of Deacon.
Holly is upset when she learns Carrie was using her to have access to her van; Doug has an argument with a waitress who takes too long to deliver his food.