A monk suspects foul play when one of his novitiates vanishes during a weekend in New York; and it's Dietrich's turn to cross-dress for mugging detail.
The detectives are shocked to discover that a chauffeur involved in a minor traffic accident is actually a slave indentured to a Burmese diplomat.
A bookstore owner is infuriated when a strip club opens near his place of business; A man threatens to burst into flames; Two topless dancers arrested.
Barney hesitates signing a release for Harris' new book.; Wojo's new parrot dies; and a suicide hot-line operator decides to end it all.
A partial lobotomy turns a master thief into a mindless zombie; An Amish man is unable to use the telephone to call for help after he's been mugged.
A judge assaults an attorney with his gavel; and a confused daytime-drama devotee reports dastardly deeds from TV soap operas.
Barney and Dietrich investigate a robbery case in which deadly DNA cultures were inadvertently stolen.
Wojo books a man accused of disturbing the peace by making noises with his hands; A dentist is accused of molesting female patients.
A census taker breaks into an apartment to count the uncooperative residents; and a burglar is kept locked in a basement cell by a vigilante tenants' group.
Vagrant Ray returns to report his fellow bums' disappearances; a woman wishes to have a child with a surrogate and is focusing in on Dietrich and Wojo.
Harris disappears while undercover as a vagrant looking for the missing bums; Luger elects to be demoted rather than to retire.
A divorced father reclaims custody of his son by kidnapping him; The precinct is visited by a man who claims to be from the twenty-first century.
Luger is despondent with his new assignment in the Twelfth; a man robs a liquor store with a duelist's pistol; and a citizen steals a TV from the police vault.
Harris refuses to adhere to a deparment rule that requires all detectives to dress in full uniform one day a year.
A lottery winner gives away the prize money by tossing it out a window; Dietrich is arrested for his off-duty participation at an anti-nuclear rally; Barney discovers he can't afford his condo.
Harris gets the task of booking his colleague Dietrich, whose arrest prompts a visit from Internal Affairs; A nuclear engineer is brought in for dousing the participants with atomic water.