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When a man arrives from Chicago claiming to be Bryana's father, Bernie is cautiously supportive.
When Jordan joins the wrestling team, he overeats and finds himself in a weight class in which he is outmatched.
When Bernie agrees to participate in a celebrity marathon, Vanessa declares that she will finish the race ahead of him.
When Bernie gives Vanessa money for school clothes, she decides to spend it all on an expensive pair of shoes.
Curtis offers to help fix Vanessa's new car, but Bernie thinks he has an ulterior motive.
While baby-sitting Bryana, Jordan watches a horror movie and scares himself into believing that zombies are trying to kill him and Bryana.
Bernie resorts to spying when he decides Vanessa is being secretive about her activities, but his security cameras pick up more than he bargained for.
Bernie decides Bryana is too old for training wheels, but her first lesson without them proves to be disastrous.
Bernie must baby-sit for Bryana and deal with Jordan, who was sent home from school for pulling a fire alarm unnecessarily.
Bernie has no patience when trying to teach Vanessa to drive.
Bernie realizes Bryana and Jordan are too old to share a room, so he moves her in with Vanessa, who is less than thrilled.
Bernie's sister, Benita, announces her plans to elope in Las Vegas; Wanda offers her the Mac residence as a wedding site.
Bryana's standardized test scores prompt Bernie to send her to Jordan's school, but she is so far behind that they threaten to move her back a grade.
Jordan tries to fit in with the popular crowd; after taking Bernie's advice, he winds up losing his lunch money in a poker game.
Wanda urges Vanessa to join an enrichment organization she once belonged to; they learn times have changed when Vanessa and her new friends are charged with shoplifting.
Bernie learns Vanessa has a boyfriend, Rahim, who is 18 years old; when he discovers that the teen has a child, he hits the ceiling.
Vanessa tries to increase her chances of being accepted into a college by joining the drill team, which pleases Bernie until he sees one of the squad's provocative routines.
Bernie is sued for being a negligent parent after a birthday bash for Bryana results in broken bones.
When Jordan develops a crush on a girl at school, Bernie takes it upon himself to teach Jordan how to be a "player" and get the girl.
Jordan's prank anonymous phone calls have surprising consequences.
When Vanessa surprises everyone with her musical talent, Isaac Hayes offers Bernie advice on how to nurture it.
Bernie sees children walking to school on their own and decides it is time for Jordan to do the same, despite Wanda's objections.
A motorcycle accident changes Bernie's perspective about protecting the kids; Jordan is caught trying to sell Bernie's girlie magazines to other boys at school.
Dr. Phil McGraw counsels Bernie on how to deal with Wanda, who feels left out after Bernie and the guys draft a woman (Mo'Nique) into their group.
Neighbor Carl Reiner (guest starring as himself) plays the ultimate practical joke on Bernie. Ashton Kutcher guest stars as himself.
"American Idol" judges Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson critique Bernie's commercial.
Bernie stops by the Playboy Mansion to get advice from Hugh Hefner on how to talk to Jordan about sex.
Bernie and Wanda seek a child therapist's help in figuring out why Bryana has become a bully; Wanda winds up caring for a guinea pig Bernie bought for Bryana.
On Bernie's 40th birthday, he is electrically shocked by an old lady and forced to be a clown at a children's party.
Bernie has to put his foot down after Mr. Diggs, Vanessa's teacher, persuades her to become a vegetarian.
Bernie creates a public relations disaster while facing off with Matt Damon and Lucy Lawless in a charity golf tournament.
Bernie makes a midnight run to retrieve Bryana's lost doll. Ice Cube guest stars as himself.
Car-pool complications wreck Bernie; a boy in the car pool starts blackmailing Jordan to be his friend.
The kids go on strike for wages after Bernie tries to make them clean up their mess, so he hires neighborhood kids as scabs.
Jordan brings home a snake named Reggie, and sister Bryanna demands a pet, too.
Gluttonous Bernie has a fever dream after devouring his own personal turkey.
Bernie and Wanda strive to present a united front when disciplining the children; Wanda becomes unhappy with this strategy because she's accustomed to playing the good cop.
Bernie circumvents his low-cholesterol diet by sneaking over to a neighbor's (guest star Don Rickles) place.
Bernie and Wanda worry about Jordan's religious faith after he defaces a picture of Jesus.
Bernie offends Wanda's boss (Wesley Snipes) at a dinner party.
Jordan learns some magic tricks and uses them to charm his first crush.
When heartburn sends him to the emergency room, Bernie resolves to beat his age by acting like he did in his youth.
After an intruder breaks into the house, Bernie reacts by turning it into a high-security compound, driving everyone crazy with his overprotectiveness.
Bernie becomes a stern taskmaster after witnessing the children's behavior at dinner, cracking down on Vanessa for her grades and making Bryana speak Spanish all the time.
After hearing it from Bernie at home, Bryana repeats inappropriate language at school, prompting a social worker to visit the house to discuss Bernie's hostility problems.
Bernie grows uncomfortable with the level of sexuality that is becoming part of his children's lives.
Exhausted Bernie begs Wanda to cancel dinner plans with another couple, but free Clippers tickets prompt him and Jordan to fake an emergency so they can get out of the house.
After breaking up with his girlfriend, poker buddy Kelly moves into the Mac household and infringes on Bernie's paternal authority.
Bernie takes the entire family to Chicago for the funeral of a beloved uncle, but his cousin's (Don Cheadle) scheming mars the trip.
Bernie takes the entire family to Chicago for the funeral of a beloved uncle, but the trip is marred by his cousin's scheming.